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A little humor
- equipdriver
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17 years 1 week ago #11098
by equipdriver
A little humor was created by equipdriver
I thought it was very refreshing to see OM's listing the other day and thought to myself that it is always nice to see a good joke. The ACME site has a good list going.
www.antiquecaterpillar.net/ACF_v2/showthread.php?t=10627
For those that arnt signed up there, here are a few good ones.
A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work.
Unknown to her, her 9 year old son is hiding in the closet one day when her lover is there. Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she hides her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.
Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice."
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My dad's outside."
Man: "Okay, how much?"
Boy: "$250."
Man: "You got it."
A few weeks later it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are
in the closet together.
Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball glove."
Man: "How much?"
Boy: "$750."
Man: "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball." The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" The son says,
"$1,000." The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends
like that. That's way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take
you to church and make you confess."
They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy
sit in the confessional booth and closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again!"
The father of a newly pregnant teenage daughter goes to the farm of the teenage father and knocks on the door. The little brother answers the door and the angry father asks for the boys dad. He ain't home right now, was the answer.
The angry father now gets even madder and decides to spout on the young lad. Your brother got my Jennifer pregnant, he yells. What do you think of that?
The young lad thinks about it for awhile then answers very solemnly, Gee, Dad charges twenty five dollars for the hog and thirty five for the bull, but I don't have any idea what he'll charge for Billy.
Little Johnny was in school and the teacher was asking the class to use certain words in a sentence. She asked somebody to use the word " fasinate" in a word. Little Johnny raised his hand and the teacher looked around for somebody else to answer the question. When no other hands went up, she thought a little bit and said to herself, there is no way he can make anything bad out of this. So she calls on Johnny to use the word " fasinate" in a sentence. Johnny says my big sister bought a new sweater with 10 buttons on it but she has big boobs and can only fasten eight.
LITTLE BILLY ON...GRAMMAR One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully." The teacher responded, "Excellent, Michael!" Then, she reluctantly called on little BILLY. "Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said "Beautiful, just f*#@*^g beautiful."
LOL
LITTLE BILLY ON...PHILOSOPHY A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little BILLY. He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot." The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking." Then little BILLY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?" The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone." To which Little BILLY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking."
LOL
LITTLE BILLY ON... MATHS Little BILLY returns home from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. "Why?" asks the father." "The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6," replied BILLY. "But that's right!" says his dad. "Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'" "What's the f@#^&g difference?" asks the father? "That's what I said!"
LOL
Little BILLY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat." Little BILLY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old." "Oh?" replied the man. " Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?" "No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own f*+*^#@g business!!"
LOL
WILLIE, THIS IS OFF TOPIC SO KEEP YOUR COMMENTS TO YOUR SELF THIS TIME. DONT RUIN OTHER PEOPLES FUN BECAUSE YOU DONT WANT TO SEE OFF TOPIC ITEMS.
www.antiquecaterpillar.net/ACF_v2/showthread.php?t=10627
For those that arnt signed up there, here are a few good ones.
A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work.
Unknown to her, her 9 year old son is hiding in the closet one day when her lover is there. Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she hides her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.
Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice."
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My dad's outside."
Man: "Okay, how much?"
Boy: "$250."
Man: "You got it."
A few weeks later it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are
in the closet together.
Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball glove."
Man: "How much?"
Boy: "$750."
Man: "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball." The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" The son says,
"$1,000." The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends
like that. That's way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take
you to church and make you confess."
They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy
sit in the confessional booth and closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again!"
The father of a newly pregnant teenage daughter goes to the farm of the teenage father and knocks on the door. The little brother answers the door and the angry father asks for the boys dad. He ain't home right now, was the answer.
The angry father now gets even madder and decides to spout on the young lad. Your brother got my Jennifer pregnant, he yells. What do you think of that?
The young lad thinks about it for awhile then answers very solemnly, Gee, Dad charges twenty five dollars for the hog and thirty five for the bull, but I don't have any idea what he'll charge for Billy.
Little Johnny was in school and the teacher was asking the class to use certain words in a sentence. She asked somebody to use the word " fasinate" in a word. Little Johnny raised his hand and the teacher looked around for somebody else to answer the question. When no other hands went up, she thought a little bit and said to herself, there is no way he can make anything bad out of this. So she calls on Johnny to use the word " fasinate" in a sentence. Johnny says my big sister bought a new sweater with 10 buttons on it but she has big boobs and can only fasten eight.
LITTLE BILLY ON...GRAMMAR One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully." The teacher responded, "Excellent, Michael!" Then, she reluctantly called on little BILLY. "Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said "Beautiful, just f*#@*^g beautiful."
LOL
LITTLE BILLY ON...PHILOSOPHY A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little BILLY. He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot." The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking." Then little BILLY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?" The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone." To which Little BILLY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking."
LOL
LITTLE BILLY ON... MATHS Little BILLY returns home from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. "Why?" asks the father." "The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6," replied BILLY. "But that's right!" says his dad. "Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'" "What's the f@#^&g difference?" asks the father? "That's what I said!"
LOL
Little BILLY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat." Little BILLY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old." "Oh?" replied the man. " Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?" "No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own f*+*^#@g business!!"
LOL
WILLIE, THIS IS OFF TOPIC SO KEEP YOUR COMMENTS TO YOUR SELF THIS TIME. DONT RUIN OTHER PEOPLES FUN BECAUSE YOU DONT WANT TO SEE OFF TOPIC ITEMS.
Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.
- Eric Egland
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17 years 1 week ago #11100
by Eric Egland
Replied by Eric Egland on topic Thanks for the funnies
Eq driver, thanks for making a laff over here.
Eric:D
Eric:D
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- Old Magnet
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17 years 1 week ago #11102
by Old Magnet
Replied by Old Magnet on topic A little humor
Good one Karl,
Thanks for the chuckle:D
Thanks for the chuckle:D
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- skywagon70
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17 years 1 week ago #11107
by skywagon70
Replied by skywagon70 on topic sad
Young people visit this board
I have refrained from posting personal happenings and thoughts in the intrest of keeping it Cat
Butch
I have refrained from posting personal happenings and thoughts in the intrest of keeping it Cat
Butch
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